Nothing is Perfect!

I have grown up seeing everyone getting super distraught about so many things they can’t even change; may it be the mistake of their past or the plans for their ideal life in future. Meanwhile cursing the past and panicking about the future all we have neglected is our present. We forgot the meaning of life and living. I read these lines somewhere a while back “Great lives are not super lives; they are truthful lives. Great lives are not without tears and heartbreak, uncertainty and confusion. They are not lived for approval, applause, or accolades” and it took all of my attention. Yes, we need to understand that perfection is not what we think or the way we want certain things to be or certain people to behave. Everything has to go on,the way it is and that’s its beauty. Nothing is perfect, but it should not stop you because nobody’s perfect, no life is perfect, no family is perfect, no job is perfect, no work is perfect and no situation is perfect.
All our life we run after a term “PERFECTION” that doesn’t even exist. We regret the mistakes we have made in the past and wish to go back to the times and correct them without knowing the fact that the present is being abandoned. Why? Because all these years of life, no one taught us how to live. You may have read “KEY TO A PERFECT LIFE” but you have never read a book about life. While just running after the illusions the real things have lost their charm for us. I see everyone around stressed because they are in the race to achieve something which society has set as a “DREAM GOAL” for them.
Hold on Amigo!
Don’t let the society decide what your dream life is or what you want for yourself. You are your own hero. It’s okay not to have a huge bank balance. It’s okay not to have the latest phone. It’s okay not to have the best car. It’s okay not to have a huge house. It’s okay to live the life you can easily afford. It’s all okay!
Everything is okay until you are happy and satisfied. It’s okay if the past is full of mistakes. It’s okay if you couldn’t save money. It’s okay if you are not wearing branded attire. It’s okay if you have pimples or scars on your face.
Life is not about these temporary things. It’s all okay, not to be okay. Trust yourself and your choice. Whatever has gone, was meant to be that way. Whatever you have is more than you deserve, whatever will come will be the best you can ever ask for. Whatever is destined for you, will find its way to you. Just relax! Have patience and try to make yourself comfortable with the blessings you have got. Trust me! God loves each one of us equally but He almighty blesses everyone differently. Cherish the moments you get to breath easily. We all know that nothing is perfect, But each second of happiness. Gives you the flavour of life and most of the time the ‘problem’ you think is not actually the “problem”. And there is no problem which does not have a solution. Have faith, work hard and don’t panic and start living.
Cheers! 🌸

Lose not HEART nor fall into DESPAIR.

I see people around trying to put others down by their toxic traits in every way possible. The word ‘appreciation’ has no more concept in our society. We all have hate to offer and especially on social media. In this pandemic we all land on social media after every third minute. And we find here nothing but hate and detestation. Which has brought all of us in a state of hollowness, darkness and anxiety. For me it’s hard to understand, what has brought so much negativity in us that cyberbullying has exceeded the limits. Everyone is so frustrated, throwing hatred and making others feel worthless, disgusting and repulsive in the best way possible.
We all have become monsters. We think that degrading someone will uplift us but we are wrong and this is the reason we all are not getting satisfied. We are all dealing with anxiety disorders, depression and stress. Instead of appreciating others for something they’re contributing to entertain us, we have started denunciating them. We just hate them because we see them happy and smiling in front of us and we think that if we’re suffering who has allowed them to be happy. We cover our fears and insecurities under the blanket of jealousy and suspicion. We have started taking social media on our nerves. We are letting every social media post fool us.
Why?
Because we think that the people we are watching around on social media are so perfect. You see your favourite blogger’s picture, wearing a perfect smile along with the most beautiful attire, looking so confidently towards the camera and the caption written below is all about the positivity and suddenly you are all saddened because you are thinking that “THE BLOGGER” can write all this just because she has a PERFECT life and you don’t. Suddenly you start hating your closet because you don’t have that one dress which she is wearing in the picture and you are all in misery because you have a pimple scar on your face too which she (the blogger) or the girl or the internet doesn’t have. So instead of appreciating her, you start criticizing her because for you she is doing nothing but to show off? Remember, nobody on social media posts their failures. Nobody can capture their fears. We all are struggling. You never know what people are hiding behind their beautiful smiles. You never know how lonely people feel, you never know how empty someone’s life is. You never know. All you have to do is “BE NICE” and understand the fact that God bless everyone differently. And everyone has their own kinds of struggles. None is PERFECT. But if they are trying to rely on the blessings they have got and avoiding the negativity. Let them be happy. Let them live. Let them breath. You never know how much they have longed for the smile they are wearing in the picture they just posted on which you reacted hate. You never know who has been through a nightmare more horrible than death. You never know who’s trying their last for just being alive. Please, be nice. Please be positive. And everyone going through the worst of the time, I know it’s hard, nothing is in place. Everything is so messed up and you are all helpless and hopeless. Just know you can try to train your mind to see the good in everything. Because you’re not only what everyone else around you needs. You’re all that you need. You are so much stronger than you have even begun to realize. You’re honest and caring. You’re hilarious and intelligent. You’re strong and compassionate. You’re beautiful, and you’re so powerful and have the ability to change everything. Remember We are all together in this. Have faith, spread love and positivity and be the reason for someone’s smile today. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because we never know who you are seeing for the last time. You never know. So stop worrying about the things you can’t change. Focus on the present and try to make that THE BEST. Never lose hope as in Qur’an Allah say:
ولا تهنوا ولا تحزنوا
“So lose not heart nor fall in to despair…” [Al ‘Imran 3:139].
All you have to do is to be patient and trust the glory of God Almighty.
Cheers!


Violence is Violence

Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with his anger, he has a problem with yours. What is that we, the members of this civilized era fail to understand? What is that temptation that drives us towards this agony? Brushing aside cliches, there is a need to understand this social issue which has been menacing in our society since age long.

Domestic violence; the use of physical force with an intent to injure, abuse, damage or destroy someone. The victim always being someone lesser in power; a woman or a child. The history of violence dates back to time when the elder son of Adam, Qabeel (Cain) killed his younger brother Habeel (Abel), which has not stopped ever since. With the passage of time, violence crept and dwelled into our lives as a part of human nature, a nature we were not born with. What drives us to the brink of assaulting someone physically leaving their lives dormant for the times to come?

Time is evolving. Every passing by day brings up new challenges for us to face. The race for money and power has made us all blinded to the fact that the people, our loved ones, who surround us are the real victims here. Domestic violence is not something to be looked upon so easily. However our society is full of examples of domestic violence. May it be in the outback areas of the country where people are illiterate and wildly foolish or in the elites of the country may it be in the field of art and culture where famous singer and actor Mohsin Haider Abbas was accused of domestic violence by his wife Fatima Sohail a well known model and actress, in a detailed social media post. Where she told the public  that she had been beaten by her merciless husband in pregnancy. She filed a report against him and ended up on divorce. And even the most powerful politicians are accused of domestic violence as in the book “MY FEUDAL LORD” Tehmina Durrani has written about her struggle of being with her remorseless husband Mustufa Khar, who used to beat her ruthlessly. 

We live in a society where a wife beaten by her husband is another normal thing. Whenever a woman gets beaten, bruised, abused or sexually assaulted by her husband it lowers her self esteem. Women think that they are responsible for their merciless partner’s abusive behavior. Which later turns into a mental illness. The women who suffer from the violence can burst into anxiety, depression, post- traumatic-stress, substance abuse, and suicide. This is just to name a FEW. 

The factors of domestic violence can be too manys. Whether it’s because of Poverty, illiteracy, patriarchalism or any other reason. Violence is violence which should be considered as a crime. 

Sadly, in Pakistan we have a male dominant society. The issue of domestic violence is reaching an alarming stage because this issue of domestic violence is still under research and still not valued enough to be considered a public health problem or a social destruction problem. Which is actually ironic because the estimated rate is 5000 women who are being killed by this reason per year in our country and if they luckily survive, they get into a mental illness or become psychologically unfit. 

Reasons can be too manys and too ordinary for us for instance acid attacks, dowry deaths, honour killings, psychological abuse and too many more. Sometimes not even a proper genuine issue. 

We need to understand that there is no excuse for domestic violence. The “Domestic” part doesn’t matter. Violence is violence. Which has to be condemned by society and law. We live an Islamic Republic state and Islam is highly against violence. No matter who the victim is, a woman, a child or anyone less in power, they need to understand that they are equally valued by the society and the law. 

We need to educate people on the domestic level and make them realise to speak for their own rights. There should be a proper law for this crime “Domestic Violence” which is still not being taken  crime by our law enforcement authorities. When we look at what is causing domestic violence, we will be able to fight it better.

You Are Precious!

Be Patient.

Do we just wake up everyday to prove we are alive? What about the living life and what about the other things then? Why we have to fake a smile to tell people that we are happy even if we are not? Why its always about pretending and not being well? Why can’t we admit our actual situations? You know it frustrates us. We need to understand that we can’t be okay everytime, everyday. It’s okay to feel bad, it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to scream out so loud, it’s okay being not okay, it’s okay being sick. It’s all okay. Everything happens for a reason and nothing lasts forever. Admit it and then move on.
You can’t move on while neglecting the realities. And the fact is reality can’t be changed. So if you can’t change anything, why to get into a fight with the system. There is a system God has made, For everything!
For you, for me and for everyone. Accept it. We are humans and it all happens to us. To each one of us. Some went through the shit earlier and others just wait for the table to be turned. But the wheel of the life never stops moving on. Sometimes you are up sometimes you are down. But the times you are up shows how much you are capable of so be kind to the people who are suffering and the times you are down be patient. Because time never stays the same.
Peace out! 💕

Master Piece

She’s a girl with light brown hair and shiny eyes. Who leaves sparkle wherever she goes. Who believe in miracles on this earth full of cruelty. Her devotional prowess around love and life, makes her a demigod. You see her on Facebook laughing on everything, you see her on Instagram spreading love, you see her on twitter defending right, you see her on Snapchat with crazy filters. She loves to hangout and crack silly jokes all the time just to make you happy. She would always be sharing positivity and full of life qoutes on social media. Yet no one has seen her real side. Her real face is dull and sad. She has been through the hells so many times. She has been hurt several times. She has suffered for the mistakes she never did. She had been punished for each person she ever trusted. Her soul is shattered into the small pieces. Yet she’s still trying to be a strong girl. A little girl trying to be tough as rigid mountains. She’s a box of contradictions. Nobody can understand her. She tries to spread all the positivity even when she’s all hurt and fighting with the demons of darkness inside her. She is breaking inside but all you could see is how beautifully she has painted her insecurities. Stop trying to understand her. She’s a badass with a good heart. She’s amazing. She’s simply a master piece!

To My Very Own SELF.

An open letter to myself from my own self.
I want to share a brief story about how, sometimes, there are inexplicable occurrences in our lives that we have to take notice of.
Let’s be real, there comes a time in your life when you are tired of everything, every situation, everyone and most importantly YOU ARE TIRED OF YOUR OWN SELF. The time you feel so ironically worthless and disgustingly cheap that you want to do nothing just to run; from the situation from the people, from the world just to hide your self somewhere.
And then just a moment comes and things change. A MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN’T DIE, YOU START LIVING, To me, I think of this incident and it made me realize how the past can hurt you. Life can sometimes hurt you. It will kick you and beat you. And as you struggle back to your feet it hits you with a low blow. Life is relentless and it lets you know that. Time and time again this happens. Nothing ever goes right, people around us are hospitalized and are dying, and we tell ourselves that we would rather be dead.
We ask why it couldn’t be us. Death. Why should it be you instead? Why would you want to take your life because “it should be me instead?” I sometimes ask myself these questions too. I sometimes think that those around me would be better off without me.
However, when you are looking death in the face and the gruesome thought of succumbing to some eternal darkness creeps into your brain, you begin to think. You think of your family and friends. You imagine every detail of their face, their voice, their personality. It all comes flooding in.

What Have You Done?

You wake up in at 11 in the morning and start yelling at your maid who has left the door open of your room while cleaning it and it disturbs you because you slept late at the night doing absolutely nothing and now you are panicking over her for ruining your sleep who has came to clean up your house because that’s her duty. She gets paid for that to feed her 8 children.
Is that pay enough for all the 8 children and the couple?
Probably no?
But that does not make any difference because that’s nothing so big. We are sorrounded by such people in our lives.
The house keep, the Maid, the Gardner, the sweeper, the begger (well some of them are professionals) but what have they done to deserve a life like that and what we have done to deserve a life this?
We don’t get the love of our life and we panic over everything good we have and forget about the each blessing and what have they done because they can’t even get the food each day, what have they done to strive for hunger each time. We don’t like the shape of our bed because that does not match the trend and what have they done to sleep on the foothoaths in this freezing weather? We need to understand;
We are not special children of God. We all are same but tested differently. Sometimes HE the Almighty tests us with showering his blessings, that how much we are thankful for the food we eat, for the comfy bed, for the branded clothes, for the secure shelter, for the loving family. And sometimes HE the almighty tests us by our patience. By taking something from us and sometimes by taking everything from us. We just need to understand that HE the almighty loves us the most and HE will definitely bless us with the best InshaAllah. We just have to Be patient, have faith and be thankful for whatever we have.
As QURAN SAYS “SURLY ALLAH IS WITH THE PATIENT “

P.S SPREAD LOVE AND KINDNESS.

BREAKUP!!


Okay nothing personal but let’s just talk about the thing that hurts the most and that’s the feeling when a relationship is over. That’s the feeling of rejection. Feelings of rejection can numb your sense of self and wreck your balance. For many jilted lovers, the first impulse is to try to fix what’s broken or recover what was lost. But often, the beloved has moved on and reconciliation is not possible. And still you persist. How can you ever move on? How can you believe an affirmation of worth when you are convinced of your unworthiness? And why would you use strategies for moving on when you’re still trying to find a solution that will win back your beloved? These are excellent points. So let’s examine “coping with a break-up” from this very different perspective.
If you are still distressed by feelings of failure, idealizing the one who rejected you, and intent on recovering the lost relationship, you’ve essentially granted this relationship the power to consume your life and create your misery. You may harbor a sense of being stuck, or feeling suspended from truly living. In fact, it’s quite difficult to win anyone’s affection while you’re feeling like a loser. But you can do some little things to get back to yourself. Like stop running from reality.. you can’t change what has happened so just forget about moving on. Moving on and away from your beloved before you’re ready only increases your distress. Where you are right now is precisely where you belong. In other words, if a life strategy isn’t working after many months, don’t think “must do this harder, longer, faster, stronger”. Instead, think, “must find a new life strategy.” And if you’re destined to be with your beloved, moving forward simply brings you into a better place to make that happen. When an emotion is triggered, notice how your physiology ramps up at first. Attend to your bodily sensations as you ride the wave, so you can disregard any painful thoughts. Stay on task by scanning your entire body and describing your physical sensations to yourself. You’ll reach the crest, and as your physiology calms down, you’ll slide down into calmer waters. (I.A)
Peace out! ✌
#biyasays

Be YOU..

Our society has become so obsessed with fitting into popular culture, fitting into what is trendy, what is considered beautiful. We obsess about the way we should look, what others think of us; we are so obsessed with feeding other people’s desires to acclaim that feeling of satisfcation, that we forget to take care of our own needs. Yes, our own needs. Your needs. Take care of them first before you take care of someone else’s, someone who may never even treat you the same way. The truth is, there will always be someone prettier, someone smarter, someone younger, someone older, someone more privileged, someone luckier. But they’ll never in a million years, be you..
I hear all this talk from people wishing they were more like someone they knew, or merely just follow on social media. I want you to take all that negative energy away from wishing to be more like them and focus on being the best version of yourself. It’s completely normal and healthy for us to be inspired by people, but to try to be like them? No, that’s just not right. Not only does that drain your energy and effort, it gives you a falsified image of yourself, and at the end of the day, it will only disappoint you, because you’ll never be exactly like them. So be who you are meant to be. 💕